Dastak is narrating the tale of single mothers stuck between the conflicting forces of family, log kya kahenge, and society. Because single mothers can identify with Kiran’s narrative, it speaks to a lot of women. It’s awful enough when your status changes from Miss to Mrs. and back again, isn’t it? You’ve just gotten to the periphery of society—neither here nor there—when you combine that with being a single mother! Discover why Dastak is a loud knock on the door for everyone who is unable to make the connection between single mothers by reading on!
Dastak literally knocks on doors when single mothers need to share their stories!
Although we won’t discuss the difficulties Kiran faced when she filed for divorce from Saif and was guilt-tripped into living with her “doting mother-in-law and son” for the rest of her life because, after all, she has the entire house to herself and why would she jeopardize her son’s future by leaving it all behind? However, when Dastak made the decision to set the standard for Kiran, a young divorcee and single mother who would prefer to leave than remain (we’re not criticizing those who stayed, as everyone faces their own set of difficulties), since everyone faces different obstacles), but we hope Kiran’s perseverance paved the path for many more.
We’ll go on to discuss Kiran’s difficulties at her parents’ house and why it’s necessary to include them in our list of the week’s top five dramas, if only because learning by rote and repetition is possibly the only way to permanently commit some things to memory!
Let’s try not to turn this into a tirade.
1. Only during socially acceptable (and archaic) working hours can Kiran pursue financial independence.
Yes, the stone ages may be going a little too far back, but that is just to illustrate the idea.
The goal is to only pursue careers that are socially acceptable to the cobwebbed mindset. For example, girls can teach in a school, but “event planning” or any other career that is outside of the 9–5 or even 8–1 hours (even teaching isn’t 9–5 anymore, by the way, so wake up and smell the coffee) is not something that single mothers are expected to adhere to. Therefore, Kiran’s event planning company, which we believe is a very interesting idea and one she wanted to pursue much earlier in life, isn’t very successful. Are you curious as to why? Then continue reading!
2. Unless you are fortunate enough to receive a marriage proposal, don’t neglect your child while working.
Here is the idea, then. Kiran, a single mother, is abandoning her child if she works late and leaves her child at home with her parents, isn’t it right? Children are more important than employment. Right (if you agree, nod your head, but wait a moment, save that nod for later). Then Kiran’s father gives her a warning: either marry the extremely eligible proposal that is heading your way, where the new spouse does not want you to bring your child with you (but don’t worry, we’ll take care of him), or “you’re not allowed to live under my roof,” Kiran’s father warns. The father, Utters. Okay, so why couldn’t you just take care of her son while she puts in a lot of effort to launch her company? At the very least, Kiran will be able to guarantee her presence in her son’s life while living under the same roof as him.
Marriage is more important than anything else, even your parental rights, isn’t it? This attitude may seem a little extreme, but believe us when we say that many grandparents have raised their grandkids and many women have had to make concessions because the new spouse won’t have anything to do with someone else’s child, even if it’s your wife’s.
3. An innocent man (and his wealth) is always the target of the opportunistic divorcee.
Divorced women are portrayed differently by society. Moiz’s parents and the group of women who asked Kiran if she was married or not earlier at the event seemed to recoil at the mention of divorce (and that too, a single mother). They are out there to trap an innocent guy, and they are so easy to trap, almost falling like flies before these supernaturally cunning women.
The acceptable response? Divorced women or single moms don’t need your sympathy, they just need respect and a need to normalize their status in society. Often we might think we are liberal enough to take the leap, but ever too often, when we meet a divorcee or a single mother, there are unasked questions in the air, a sense of mistrust, curiosity or even fear – what did she do to land up in this situation? Was it her fault? Is she a red flag? Should we keep our sons away from her? These thoughts might seem too extreme or toxic, but believe us, they are more real than one would like to believe and yes, you can nod your head here, they are tragically toxic too.
4. It is strictly forbidden for her to leave her parents’ house and declare her independence!
While making independent decisions about their lives, careers, and the welfare of their children, single mothers are frequently reliant on their parents and, as a result, liable to their family. But society turns to moral policing when it comes to autonomous life. On the other hand, as self-sufficiency is a blessing that comes with empowerment and decision-making power, such a move could also be celebrated and marked as a proud moment in a parent’s life, as their adult daughter is learning to cope with her circumstances and will be able to tend to her child’s needs without depending on others.
But not in the manual for single mothers!
It would be a wonderful moment for any parent if we saw this power as a woman’s strength rather than rebellion, and if parents saw it as a victory that their daughter could face and thrive in life even when things didn’t go as planned. Correct? It definitely is. Unless you’re abiding by the rules!
It’s a formula for disaster, according to the rulebook! These days, young women are too self-reliant, too assertive, and too powerful to listen to others.
However, in order to celebrate your daughter’s confidence, you must unlearn everything that our culture has taught us.
not to condemn a single or divorced mother, not to be afraid of her independence, but to honor her path. It is really difficult to raise a child by yourself in a culture that constantly doubts your motives. The fact that Kiran’s character speaks to so many women is a blatant indication that Dastak has done something right. This could be in the way the character is written and portrayed, the difficulties she encounters, or even the way her father and society make it more difficult for her to navigate life.
What doesn’t break you makes you stronger, and Kiran is a wonderful example of that, as are others like her. As of right now, the drama stands out for its portrayal of the difficulties that many single mothers face or have faced in our society. We should write a new set of rules and throw out the old one. The curriculum needs to adapt to the times, and this is definitely the moment.
Marina Khan is the director and Sarwat Nazir is the writer of Dastak, which airs on ARY Digital every Friday and Saturday. It is a Six Sigma Plus Production project. Syed Tanveer Hussain, Feroz Kadri, Asma Abbas, Sohail Sameer, Perveen Akbar, Ali Raza, and Sohai Ali Abro are among the cast members.
